Ground rules

SAFER SPACES, CONSENT & COMMUNITY CARE GUIDE

At SEXTOU, we're committed to creating a space where queer people and our communities can celebrate, connect, express themselves, and feel supported.

No space can ever be completely free from harm, but we work actively to make our events safer through consent culture, harm reduction, accessibility, collective care, and accountability.

By attending our events, you agree to respect these guidelines and help us create the kind of space we all deserve.

💖 Our Values

Our events are built on:

Consent
Respect
Inclusivity
Harm reduction
Community accountability
Collective care
Anti-racism
Anti-ableism
Anti-transphobia
Anti-homophobia
Anti-sexism
Anti-fatphobia
Anti-whorephobia

We welcome people of all genders, sexualities, races, ethnicities, body types, abilities, backgrounds, and experiences.

🫂 Welfare & Support

Our hosts, welfare staff, security, organisers, and venue team are here to support you.

You can approach us if you:

Feel unsafe
Feel uncomfortable
Feel unwell
Need emotional support
Experience harassment
Need medical assistance
Are worried about someone else

We will always do our best to listen without judgement and prioritise safety.

✨ Consent Comes First

Consent is the foundation of our space.

Consent must always be:

Freely given
Enthusiastic
Informed
Specific
Reversible
Ongoing

Please remember:

Always ask before touching someone.
Never assume consent based on someone's appearance, clothing, dancing, flirting, or previous interactions.
Consent to one thing is not consent to another.
Anyone can change their mind at any time.
If someone is too intoxicated to consent, they cannot consent.

"No" is a complete sentence.

"Maybe" means no.

Silence does not mean yes.

🏳️⚧️ Respect People's Identities

Please respect everyone's:

Names
Pronouns
Boundaries
Bodies
Identities
Experiences

Do not make assumptions about someone's gender, sexuality, body, race, relationship status, or experiences.

Mistakes happen. If corrected, apologise, learn, and move on.

Deliberate harassment, discrimination, or misgendering will not be tolerated.

🚫 Zero Tolerance for Harmful Behaviour

We have zero tolerance for:

Harassment
Sexual harassment
Sexual assault
Racism
Transphobia
Homophobia
Biphobia
Misogyny
Ableism
Fatphobia
Xenophobia
Religious discrimination
Bullying
Stalking
Intimidation
Threatening behaviour
Non-consensual touching

Anyone engaging in harmful behaviour may be removed from the event without refund and may be banned from future events.

📸 Photography & Privacy

We recognise that privacy is essential for many members of our community.

Please:

No photography of any kind is permitted.
No video recording of any kind is permitted.
No live streaming is permitted.
No screenshots or screen recordings of event spaces, attendees, or activities are permitted.
Please keep cameras and recording devices put away at all times while at the event.

This policy applies to all attendees, guests, and visitors.

Staff reserve the right to ask anyone to stop using a device if it appears to be used for photography, filming, or recording.

💊 Harm Reduction

We recognise that substance use exists within nightlife culture and believe in harm reduction rather than judgement.

Please:

Know what you're taking.
Stay hydrated.
Eat regularly.
Avoid mixing substances.
Look after your friends.
Ask for help early if something doesn't feel right.

Seeking help for yourself or someone else will never result in judgement.

Your wellbeing comes first.

🤝 Look After Each Other

We believe safer spaces are created collectively.

Please:

Check in on your friends.
Look out for people who may need support.
Help someone find staff if they're distressed.
Intervene safely when appropriate.
Never assume someone else will step in.

If you see something, say something.

🚨 What To Do If Something Feels Wrong

If something doesn't feel right, trust your instincts.

Whether you feel unsafe, uncomfortable, unwell, harassed, overwhelmed, or are worried about someone else, please reach out to a member of our team immediately.

You can approach:

Event hosts
Welfare staff
Security staff
Event organisers
Venue staff

Examples of reasons to seek support include:

Experiencing harassment or discrimination
Having your boundaries ignored
Feeling unsafe or threatened
Feeling physically or emotionally unwell
Suspecting someone may have been spiked
Being separated from friends
Being concerned about another attendee
Witnessing behaviour that could put someone at risk

If you cannot find a member of staff, please ask another attendee to help you locate one.

If you see someone who appears distressed, vulnerable, incapacitated, or unsafe, please don't assume someone else will help.

You will never be judged, blamed, or criticised for asking for support.

♿ Accessibility

We aim to make our events as accessible as possible.

If you have access requirements relating to:

Mobility
Seating
Sensory needs
Communication
Carer access
Other adjustments

Please contact us before the event where possible, and we will do our best to accommodate your needs.

👮 Security & Accountability

Our staff and security teams are instructed to prioritise:

Safety
Respect
De-escalation
Welfare
Community care

Event organisers reserve the right to:

Refuse entry
Remove attendees
Issue temporary or permanent bans

These decisions will always be made with the safety and wellbeing of our community as the primary consideration.

🌈 Self-Expression Is Not Consent

We celebrate queer self-expression, including fetish wear, revealing clothing, performance, and nightlife culture.

However:

Clothing is not consent.
Dancing is not consent.
Flirting is not consent.
Being at a queer party is not consent.
Everyone has the right to set and maintain their own boundaries.

❤️ Thank You

Thank you for helping us create a space rooted in joy, respect, consent, community care, and collective liberation.

Take care of yourself.

Take care of each other.

And if something feels wrong, please reach out.

Much Love - Sextou Team x